It is hard to be charitable when...

Last night in a parking lot, I mistakenly had bought 2 parking tickets for the same space. Instead of just pocketing the extra ticket I gave the ticket to the next car which came into the lot. "There, I've done my good deed for the day, right? Apparently the two men had just bought their own ticket, so I mentioned to them to give it to the next car which came into the lot. They in turn sold the ticket for $5 to the next gentleman. This was the same ticket which I had given it to them for free. Arrrgh!!! I went on with my evening not in a giving and charitable mood, but one of anger and frustration. Is this how I expected to be transformed during these days of lent? Apparently, I still have a lot of work to do. How dare my good deed go down the drain as other thoughtless human beings made decisions that trumped my own? Bottom line: I am a better person than them. I tried to be charitable and doing a good deed, and where does it get me? Where does this come from? One word, ego. I let my ego, self centered look on others take control of who I am. Words Of I and me, dot my own conversion with myself. Would Jesus have let this episode cloud his mind with hostility? I think not. He would always be self giving and not concerned how it would affect himself. I am reading a book called "A new Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. He talks about needing to transform our own minds to a higher level. Much of this revolves are letting go of the ego, a very hard thing to do. He says; "you do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you...and allowing that goodness to emerge." Eckhart Tolle, A new Earth.